an addict's mirage

I had seen it on television and in movies,
In novels, tales and legends, have I heard,
What it felt like – the ups and the downs,
The ecstasies, the sensations and deflations.

Like the aroma of freshly baked bread,
The scent floated and wafted towards me,
The picturesque presentation of the act,
Invoked in me, an enigmatic craving.

In pursuit of adventure, my ego ballooned;
Like a fresh fragranced flower in the morn,
Like the tantalising tingling taste of a fruit,
My senses seduced, my mind made up.

The first time, my world was mesmerised,
Enchanted in luxury, sparkling with liveliness,
I tasted ecstasy’s rapture on a blissful plain,
And experienced light’s illuminating flare.

It was the ultimate vacation terminus;
Where neither time, nor space had sovereignty,
A little paradise where worries waned,
And dreams dwelt deep in dignity.

I was the creator, the king and the subject,
And I could slip in and out of it anytime,
It was my world and I reigned with pleasure,
It was fun, until it took control of me.

A revolutionary republic turned rebellious,
A prince turned prisoner, I lost myself,
A dictator turned devotee, I’m called names,
A creator, addicted to the decrees of his creature.

Farcical, but my escapades got me captivated,
All I wanted was to ride an enthralling ecstasy,
A lift, and a laugh later, I became a loser,
An addict’s mirage, drenched in a spit of saliva.

first steps

The scariest place is the unknown,
And the first steps towards such void,
are cautionary. It is my first attempt,
how it will turn out, I have no idea.
But as in all fads, I hope this little act–
Gathers momentum as it rolls downhill.

I try to savour every moment;
Appreciating the little movements,
Of the leaves and calm of the night.
I have become a wonderer,
in the world of knowledge.
Knowledge have I gathered,
Sharing, I will gladly with all;
My thoughts and perceptions,
have been shaped by such knowledge.

Sometimes I fear I’m wrong,
Thus my first steps are usually small.
But I have learned that doubts,
makes me feel that way.
I will take giant strides,
when I get a feel of the terrain.
Because I will not be afraid,
to make mistakes.

I have lived my life trying to be me,
I have found meaning,
in odd places and events.
It has been difficult,
since everyone I meet,
Wants me to be a little like them-
Half-breeds and imperfect beings;
Funny isn’t it, because I intend to be me.

Everybody has been wrong before;
The most important thing,
is to learn to unlearn the wrong.
I am open to criticisms and new ideas,
but as I grope on this turf,
I need a helping hand.